I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
Not what you think
And if I’m honest
Might’ve been a nightmare
~ Billie Eilish
Ever turned around and realised you have got what you want but don’t feel the way you thought you would? Yeah, me too!
We think if we get the promotion or the bigger home, take the trip, do all the things.. we will find what we are seeking. But often we can manifest the promotion/trip and find we feel the same way within ourselves. Wherever you go, there you are, right?
So with setting goals and New Year’s resolutions rather than setting any impossible expectations that can often lead to guilt and shame when we fall short, try the following for designing small but significant changes for a more contented life.
- Take some time out to sit and notice how you want to feel more often in life. This is really important so don’t rush it. Maybe go for a walk in nature or sit in a park to get the greatest clarity.
- Break it up into these areas:
Health, Self Care, Work, Relationships, Spiritual, Financial, Fun. Write down what went well in 2019. Be genuinely grateful for this, celebrate what you do have already and what you’ve already achieved.
- Rather than focus on things you want to create “a promotion/a bigger salary/longer holidays…instead, try to focus on how you would like to feel more of the time. What states do you want to enjoy more of? For example, if a higher salary is what you think you want, is it a sense of security you are trying to create. Longer holidays? Is it more of a sense of everyday contentment or relaxation? Often we can manifest a new job or higher salary or long holiday and only to find our same old insecurities and worries are there. Damn it!
- Put in place in these categories certain aspirations or goals with the endpoint being how it will make you feel when you manifest them. Create active steps around it. If it’s drinking less alcohol under the banner of health, you could set yourself a goal of drinking one less night per week for example.
- If you forget to follow through on your intentions or find yourself reaching for the rosé on a Tuesday night, rather than guilt tripping yourself for failing and then giving up altogether, just come back to your good intentions and start again. Be kind to yourself because even when we want to change, the patterns of the past can be harder to shake than we think so be patient.
It may be surprising too that finding more joy doesn’t necessarily mean big things like changing jobs or ending a relationship (though it might). You may actually simply find more inner peace with implementing small changes. For example, adding a morning meditation, a swim or eating better foods to your daily routine. It’s often the little things that make the biggest difference to our life. It’s ‘how’ we are that’s more important than ‘what’ we do.
Suggested goal categories:
Personal growth/ Self Care
Bryony Lancaster is Founder & Director of Egg Of The Universe, Sydney’s only combined wholefoods and yoga experience.